Whilst watching a documentary
(Louie theroux :America’s medicated kids)
With two nameless participants in an unexpected experiment
In conclusion to the documentary, anyone self analysing
And battling throughout mental turmoil
Eg bipolar spectrum disorders
In my case…
Should note how text book and how emotionally similar I my self found this child
I took on board that these disorders exist
My “particpants” narcissisticly wallowed in the words and proceeded to regale stories from child hood as to how they were special…
I don’t think they saw what I saw
Hypocritically I see my self as special in this scenario…
Sitting in a smoking area, parusing a new college
Alot of forgotten bubbles have been remembered.
Going to interview for a mature student course thank god.
Smoked just the right amount of marijuana
Ciggerettes and mocha on the menu whilst I wait.
Hopefully I’ll rejoin this regretful society.
There is no better class of people
But I feel compelled to find them.
Major dreams of self. Harm last night
Don’t Have the urge to do so at all….
People, drugs nor things fill this void
But I don’t get so angry
But I do get suicidal
Thank you anti depressants
For making everyone else’s lives easier except mine
Although the irony is my life is easier because I don’t scare the shit out of people…
I hope we meet back when we’re like 30 and fall. In love all over again.
So the girl I still love is out there
She’s okay with that.
So many benzos.